My mind is clouded with poisonous thoughts

You've lost me.
Find me.

Go.

Look.

I can bear this no longer.
Must I find myself?
Can I find myself?

When I myself am in this strange land,
Where I know nothing, I speak nothing
I think nothing, I find nothing,
I am nothing,
How is it that I am to find myself?

There are no clues, no conceptions.
Only insinuations,
Only this fear.

And this fear, unexplainable,
Cannot be altered except to deal with it.

So allow me that,
That I may deal with it.

Stay away. Go.
You lost me within myself,
Thinking you found me.
You lost me within myself
And now I am not myself.

Now I am doubting myself.

Wouldn't I rather I had gone
Some other direction?
Some other way?

Used?! Used am I?
Yes, by my own self I am.
By my own weight I am,
My... my height, my width.
My thoughts, my keepings.

Leave me alone.
Without this, nothing would have happened.

My mind is clouded with poisonous thoughts.