I had one childhood Friend.
He always told me the Truth.
He always was there, preventing my loneliness
I shall speak freely.
Things like this happen
I am tiring out my support systems
They are loosing their footholds
And although they claim to love
They are filled with fear,
Loathing, jealousy, hatred,
anger and weariness.
He left me.
He promised me something,
He promised me that I would breathe Him.
He promised me that I would know Truth again.
He promised me.
Then left. Silence.
So I turned.
I told Him I wouldn't listen anymore.
I had been listening for so long.
Everything He told me was false.
When I realized that everything I held
Dear to my heart was indeed part of
His grotesque joke, I knew He must be laughing.
And after begging Him for truth,
He betrayed me with His silence.
So I turned.
I screamed at the deaf heavens.
Alone, I muttered that
All of this only proves that I am as crazy as she.
I had convinced myself of hearing a Voice all my life.
I had convinced myself that I had a Friend.
I had convinced myself I knew the Truth.
Pious priests would say I've strayed.
All those whom I held dear would agree.
This hatred I have for existence
Has allowed me to live in dangerous abandon.
I don't wish to discuss this with you.
I was walking in the evening.
A beautiful sunset filled the sky.
It had been cloudy all day,
And finally, the gold sun had dipped beneath the red clouds,
And the sky was filled with colors and textures
The sky ...
Out of sheer habit I whispered,
"Thank you..."
An ache filled me. Then anger.
Until He said,
"You're welcome."
He always told me the Truth.
He always was there, preventing my loneliness
I shall speak freely.
Things like this happen
I am tiring out my support systems
They are loosing their footholds
And although they claim to love
They are filled with fear,
Loathing, jealousy, hatred,
anger and weariness.
He left me.
He promised me something,
He promised me that I would breathe Him.
He promised me that I would know Truth again.
He promised me.
Then left. Silence.
So I turned.
I told Him I wouldn't listen anymore.
I had been listening for so long.
Everything He told me was false.
When I realized that everything I held
Dear to my heart was indeed part of
His grotesque joke, I knew He must be laughing.
And after begging Him for truth,
He betrayed me with His silence.
So I turned.
I screamed at the deaf heavens.
Alone, I muttered that
All of this only proves that I am as crazy as she.
I had convinced myself of hearing a Voice all my life.
I had convinced myself that I had a Friend.
I had convinced myself I knew the Truth.
Pious priests would say I've strayed.
All those whom I held dear would agree.
This hatred I have for existence
Has allowed me to live in dangerous abandon.
I don't wish to discuss this with you.
I was walking in the evening.
A beautiful sunset filled the sky.
It had been cloudy all day,
And finally, the gold sun had dipped beneath the red clouds,
And the sky was filled with colors and textures
The sky ...
Out of sheer habit I whispered,
"Thank you..."
An ache filled me. Then anger.
Until He said,
"You're welcome."
posted by dyingember at 10:25 AM
1 Comments:
From Blossoms
from blossoms come
this brown paper bag of peaches
we bought from the boy
at the bend in the road where we turned toward
signs painted peaches
from laden boughs, from hands,
from sweet fellowship in the bins,
comes nectar at the roadside, succulent
peaches we devour, dusty skin and all,
comes the familiar dust of summer, dust we eat.
O, to take what we love inside,
to carry within us an orchard, to eat
not only the skin, but the shade,
not only the sugar, but the days, to hold
the fruit in our hands, adore it, then bite into
the round jubilance of peach.
there are days we live
as if death were nowhere
in the background; from joy
to joy to joy, from wing to wing,
from blossom to blossom to
impossible blossom, to sweet impossible blossom.
Li-Young Lee
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