Friday, February 15, 2008

The thoughts of Dorothy or Ester, no longer coherant, rotting in the nursing home...

Alright, America, listen up.
Stop yer yammerin and clammerin
Get to work, young whipper snappers!
In my day, there was a real war on
And we pulled together because
We was a country.
We loved our boys out there,
Fightin', fightin' in the war.
I remember my ol' Momma tellin me
"Don't you run off with no Fred Collens..."
But I did and I loved him
And we was wed.
Later came all the kids,
Crawlin around at my knees
Tuggin' at my stockins.
Oh how I loved Fred.
I wonder where he's got to now.
I haven't seen him all week.
He must have left me.
Oh, Fred, why'd you go and leave me?
After all we had together?
After all we shared together?
After sugar shortages...don't you remember Fred?
Don't you remember how before you went off,
We baked you the finest birthday cake you ever saw.
In those days it was something to have a birthday cake,
Not now.
Now it seems nobody makes them cakes anymore
Nobody can be troubled by it.
I brought my kids up good and proper
On food I made em.
I don't spend all my money on them
Store-bought cakes that come in boxes and bags...
All thems got funny names like
Twinkies and such.
They'll not do but kill ya as soon as ya down em.
And all these kids dying of heart troubles and things.
It's cause yer FAT, America...fat fat FAT.
And lazy.
You spend all yer money just so you can sit around yer house.
Spend all yer time moanin and groanin about yer worries.
Well, had you thought of sitting down and listnin'
To somebody else's for a change?
You ever thought of givin a little?
Now, I know in those days...
More the days of my own momma,
Back in those days you had to rely
On the help of others just to survive sometimes.
Sometimes a loaf of bread or a quilt
Or even just a kind word and some talkin
Could do all the fixin you need.
But not like now.
Now yeh gotta rush around doin' this and doin' that.
Scroungin and savin, but then spendin it all on somethin worthless
Like those goddamn Twinkies.
Why WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE to be able to walk again
WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE to get out of this rotten body
Riddled with arthritis and hunger
Riddled with pain and memory,
The memories come, the memories go
I don't keep track of em no more.
But if I were young like you,
I'd be lovin my home.
I'd be lovin my family. I'd be lovin all around me
That's the ticket to bein' happy, you know...
They turn on the television set for us here,
They want us all to die. That's apparent.
Some of em are friendly enough, but as soon as we're gone...
Then they get another spot. A fresh one.
I wonder what they've been putting in our food....
It don't matter anyhow,
Fred's coming back, he'll come find me,
He'll come rescue me.
Where's Fred?
I keep losing track of that man.
He always worked so hard to make a home for us.
He built this place, you know.
I can tell by the way the bricks are lined up, all just perfect like that.
That husband of mine, well, he always was so diligent about doin' things.
I wonder when supper is...
The food they give us...I appreciate it greatly,
I never had such bad manners as to complain.
But I secretly know that I could do so much better myself
Give me a few potatoes and carrots and then I'll show ya
Cookin.
Cookin
Cookin,
Cookin.
I better get home so I can feed the kids.
They're growin so fast now.
I turned on the News today.
It's always terrible. Some kid shot up his classmates
Can you imagine?
I get the feeling something is terribly wrong with this country.
I get the feeling something is terribly wrong with this room.
I get the feeling there is something terribly wrong...with me.
Half the time, I don't remember my kids' names.
What kind of a mother forgets the names of her own kids?
It's alright. I get the feeling I won't be around much longer.
If I say that, everyone just gets so upset.
I know they don't know. I know they can't understand.
I was there once. But I'm here now. And I know that I'm dying.
I know my memory is gone, my mind wanders.
I still feel ashamed to be dressed, to be fed, to be bathed, to be bathroomed.
But I forget it all quickly, it comes and it goes.
I hope to pass soon. There's nothing for me here.
I'm of no use to anybody anymore,
And it doesn't bother me the way you'd think
Because while I was young...I was of more use than
TEN of you kids today were.
I feel just the same as you do,
You who cry so many tears. I cry my own tears too
But then I get busy and get productive
Instead of whinin all the time on how hard things are.
Back in my day, anyone'd lend an ear that needed it.
And anyone'd lend a hand that needed it.
And we took pride in bein useful.
We were good wives, we were good mothers.
And we were proud of it.


And so she sat, sad, grey, and ready.
They all are ready, sitting, grey,
They all know, but they don't know what.
They all see, but they don't see what.
They all long for their opinions to be heard and no one listens.
It's not good to get to attached to these,
It's not good to let your heart grow on them.
But it is what they need,
They fade like flowers, withered...old.
Their memories fade like flowers, withered, old.
And so they sit, grey
Ready for their tombs.

Lyrics

V1:
I never meant to hurt you.
I never wanted to watch you cry.
I don't mean to desert you,
Just don't ask me why.

R1
All the times we spent together,
All the times we laughed
All the times we cried in anguish
Have passed.

V2:
I hope you're feeling better.
I never meant for things to go so wrong.
I've written you a letter,
I've written you a song.

R2
All the times we spent together
All the times we fought,
All the lessons we learned
Lessons we taught...

You thought I'd never see through you,
You never thought I'd leave you alone
I never wanted to do this to you,
Just go home.

R3
You told me that you loved Jesus
You told me you had hope
You didn't tell the truth, no,
It was all a lie, a game and a joke.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

I read the words of poets past,
While counting beats and rhythms.
I read the book and watch the film,
And can't seem to commend them.

Човек говори Богу

Знам да си скривен у морима сјања,
Али те стигне дух који те слути;
Небо и земља не могу те чути,
А у нама је твој глас од постања.

Једино ти си што је протуречно -
Кад си у срцу да ниси у свести...
На ком се мосту икад могу срести,
Свемоћ и немоћ, пролазно и вечно!

Води ли пут наш к теби, да ли води?
Крај и почетак - је ли то све једно?
Ко печате ти чува неповредно,
Ко твојим страшним границама ходи?

Јесмо ли као у исконске сате
Налик на твоје обличје и данас?
Ако ли нисмо, каква туга за нас,
Ако ли јесмо, каква беда за те.

Мој дух човеков откуд је и шта је?
Твој део или противност од тебе -
Јер треће нема! Крај твог огња зебе,
И мркне крај твог светила што сјаје.

Самотан свугде и пред свим у страху,
Странац у своме и телу и свету!
И смрт и живот у истоме даху:
Вечно ван себе тражећ своју мету.

Јован Дучић
Serbian Poet