Janis Ian

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty-queens
And high-school girls with clear-skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired.

The valentines I never knew
The Friday-night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth

And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone

Who called to say "Come dance with me."
And murmured and vague obsenities
It isn't all it seems
At seventeen

A brown-eyed girl in hand-me-downs
Whose name I never could pronounce
Said "Pity please the ones who serve,
They only get what they deserve."

And the rich-relationed home-town queen
Who married into what she needs
With a guarantee of company
And haven for the elderly.

Remember those who win the game
Lose the love they sought to gain
In debentures of quality
And dubious integrity

Their small-town eyes will gape at you
In dull surprise when payment due
Exceeds accounts recieved
At seventeen.

To those of us who knew the pain
Of valentines that never came,
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball.

It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
When dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly-duckling girls like me.

We all play the game and when we dare,
We cheat ourselves at solitaire,
Inventing lovers on the phone,
Repenting other lives unknown,

Who called to say "Come dance with me,"
And murmured vague obsenities
At ugly-duckling girls like me,
At seventeen.


~Janice Ian

Aztec Two-Step

Good morning, baby
What were you dreaming of
Am I crazy
Or do you really need my love

Wrap your arms around me
Like the shadows 'round the moon
Meet me at midnight
By the windows of your room

The earth beneath me
Above the sky
You are beyond them
I'm in your eyes

Oh I am your prisoner
Shackled within your shell
The way I need you
No words can ever tell
No, no words can ever tell

Bring me home

~Aztec Two-Step

Пророк

Духовной жаждою томим,
В пустыне мрачной я влачился,
И шестикрылый серафим
На перепутье мне явился.
Перстами легкими как сон
Моих зениц коснулся он:
Отверзлись вещие зеницы,
Как у испуганной орлицы.
Моих ушей коснулся он,
И их наполнил шум и звон:
И внял я неба содроганье,
И горний ангелов полет,
И гад морских подводный ход,
И дольней лозы прозябанье.
И он к устам моим приник,
И вырвал грешный мой язык,
И празднословный и лукавый,
И жало мудрыя змеи
В уста замершие мои
Вложил десницею кровавой.
И он мне грудь рассек мечом,
И сердце трепетное вынул,
И угль, пылающий огнем,
Во грудь отверстую водвинул.
Как труп в пустыне я лежал,
И бога глас ко мне воззвал:
"Востань, пророк, и виждь, и внемли,
Исполнись волею моей
И, обходя моря и земли,
Глаголом жги сердца людей."

Alexander Pushkin

I had one childhood Friend.
He always told me the Truth.
He always was there, preventing my loneliness

I shall speak freely.

Things like this happen
I am tiring out my support systems
They are loosing their footholds
And although they claim to love
They are filled with fear,
Loathing, jealousy, hatred,
anger and weariness.

He left me.
He promised me something,
He promised me that I would breathe Him.
He promised me that I would know Truth again.
He promised me.
Then left. Silence.

So I turned.

I told Him I wouldn't listen anymore.
I had been listening for so long.
Everything He told me was false.
When I realized that everything I held
Dear to my heart was indeed part of
His grotesque joke, I knew He must be laughing.
And after begging Him for truth,
He betrayed me with His silence.
So I turned.

I screamed at the deaf heavens.
Alone, I muttered that
All of this only proves that I am as crazy as she.
I had convinced myself of hearing a Voice all my life.
I had convinced myself that I had a Friend.
I had convinced myself I knew the Truth.

Pious priests would say I've strayed.
All those whom I held dear would agree.
This hatred I have for existence
Has allowed me to live in dangerous abandon.

I don't wish to discuss this with you.

I was walking in the evening.
A beautiful sunset filled the sky.
It had been cloudy all day,
And finally, the gold sun had dipped beneath the red clouds,
And the sky was filled with colors and textures
The sky ...

Out of sheer habit I whispered,
"Thank you..."
An ache filled me. Then anger.

Until He said,

"You're welcome."